This Better Not Happen Again
by ArtistKurai
Summary: Levi has to go bail Erwin out of jail. Again. Erwin has made a new friend, and it ticks Levi off to no end. Written for OtakuShuichi. Rated because I'm a little paranoid.


A/N: This fic was inspired by and written as a birthday present for my best friend, Shu. It's complete crack. Hope you enjoy. Tanjoubi omedeto, Shu!

Disclaimer: I don't own SnK or any of its characters. If I did, Annie wouldn't exist and Marco would still be alive.

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Loud voices pierced the air in the Wall Maria Police Precinct. Levi Akerman let out a groan of annoyance, his glare aimed at anyone and anything that crossed his line of vision. "That Erwin," he grumbled angrily as he walked through the dimly-lit building. "I'm going to kill him when I see him."

It really wasn't too difficult to find the tall blond he was looking for. After paying the bail that had been set for his disorderly friend, all Levi had to do was follow the sounds of annoying singing, and they led the brunette right to the lockup. He looked with disdain at all the men locked in the cell, but his eyes only focused on one person. "Erwin," he grumbled.

"Hey, Levi," said Erwin Smith, his deep voice commanding the attention of everyone else. He had a goofy grin on his face, which Levi could tell wasn't induced by alcohol. "I made a new friend here. This is Reiner." Much to Levi's chagrin, Erwin put his arm around an equally tall, equally blond younger man that had on no clothes. "Reiner, this is my best friend, Levi."

"Why is this man naked?" Levi asked without missing a beat.

"I was streaking through Trost Part," Reiner said proudly. "My friend should be coming to get me soon."

Ignoring the younger man, Levi turned his attention back to his friend. "Erwin, how many times do we have to go over this? This is the third time this month I've had to get you out of jail for disturbing the peace. You promised that the last time this happened would really be the last time."

"No, I seem to recall that the last incident would be the last time I did this _drunk_ ," Erwin corrected. "I'm completely sober tonight."

"Well then, let's settle this once and for all," Levi growled. "Don't do this at all ever again. Don't do it drunk, high, sober, or on a dare. Don't try to find a loophole by changing the song. Do not do it. Period."

"Man, someone's a little touchy," Reiner said lazily. "Dude, you've gotta relax. You don't see Bertl running in here making a sweaty scene, do you?"

As if on cue, a tall brunette bounded into the room. "Reiner, what on Earth were you thinking?" asked Bertholdt Fubar once he saw his best friend. He had sweat beading heavily on his brow and soaking into his dark hair.

"Oh wow, it looks like I was wrong," Reiner said to Erwin, getting a laugh out of the older man. "Hey, Bertl. Glad you could come bail me out."

"Who did you become friends with this time?" Bertl deadpanned knowingly.

"This is Erwin," Reiner introduced happily. "He got arrested for disturbing the peace. Actually, we got arrested together."

"I was singing a very stirring rendition of The Circle of Life," Erwin boasted, proudly crossing his arms over his chest.

"I ran into him while he was singing and had to stop and listen," said Reiner. "That's when the cops caught up. I think they wanted to listen, too."

Bertoldt sighed and leg his head hang. "Reiner, no."

"Alright," sighed Officer Jean Kirstein. "These two are free to go. But I don't want to see either of their mugs in my precinct again."

"Absolutely, Officer," agreed Levi in a tone that threatened severe injury should these incidents happen again. "Come on, Erwin. Let's get you home."

"It was nice meeting you, Reiner," the older blond said to the younger. They shook hands as they ducked out of the holding cell.

"You too, Erwin. Hey, Bertl, did you happen to bring me any pants?" asked Reiner.

"No, I didn't because I didn't know you were naked," said Bertholdt. He actually seemed kind of bored with the night's events.

"Meh, oh well." The tall blond shrugged off his nudity and strolled out of the station without a care. Once the younger pair was gone, Levi turned on his friend.

"Let me make one thing very clear," he said threateningly to the taller man. "This better not happen ever again. Do you understand me?"

"Yeah, yeah, I getcha," said a bored Erwin. "Alright now, let's go get some food. I've been in lockup for hours, and I'm hungry."

Levi glared at the back of his friend's head. "I should let you starve."

"But you won't," Erwin sang knowingly as he skipped down the sidewalk. And, darn it, Levi knew his friend was right. Despite his cold demeanor, Levi really did care about his friends. So, with an angry glare and frustrated huff, Levi followed his friend.

Owari

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A/N: Yeah, that was a little weird lol. I should also say that I didn't come up with Erwin singing Circle of Life. I borrowed that from VandettaCosplay's NarCon skit. They're amazing at AoT humor. Thank you for reading, and please leave me a review telling me what you think.


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